Combo Apps/Jump Into My Imagination

Jump Into My Imagination

I want you to take a minute and jump into my imagination for a moment. Look at the image up above and see what’s going in in my brain. Most of you know I had a mild stroke and can’t fully use my right arm and hand. It’s slow recovery at the moment and depression has open it’s door to me. Some days it’s hard and other days can be challenging. What’s hard are the simple things I can’t do like, write my name, scratch my head or tie my shoe. I can’t even go to the bathroom by myself. The simple tasks we take for granted each and everyday. Eventually I have to figure out how to take proper photos while I build up my right arm and hand. For now all I can do is look through the photo I do have and come up with creative solutions to edit with my left hand. Some people are amazed how well I’ve dues my left hand for everything, since I’m right handed. The body can compensate for a lot of things. It’s become natural for me to use my left hand for everything.

Falling Back

Right now I feel like I’ve been falling backwards instead of moving forward in my like. I had a really good project going on but I had to stop Project 365. I’ll try again when I’m ready or maybe in 2015. I have a lot of thoughts in me head swimming in my brain. Even when I go back to blogging it will be hard so I decided to write what’s going on with images I’ve edited. This way I don’t loose my mind and stay away from the bad thoughts in my head. The bad thoughts are what I like call, “going into a bad neighbourhood” and even typing this blog post is hard for me.

Color and Noise

My mind looks like someone is jumping into a mess of colour. It’s hard to keep up and mentally straining because of the jumbled mess. My brain is in a constant battle with itself because the depression will come in and take over at times. It happened to me on Sunday. It was really bad. I just laid on the couch, asking myself how can I make myself happy over and over. If I’ve ever really been happy with myself and my life and will I really change myself. It’s really a private hell I don’t wish on anyone. Being lost in that bad neighbourhood is a very dangerous place to be. When I look back I’ve always had these thoughts and been depressed a lot. I don’t show it or make an announcement that I’m going to the clinic or seek mental help. I’ve always pushed my way out of it and I’m ok again. Now the cat is out of the bag because a lot of you are going to be reading this and wonder or worry. I rather have people be concern than worry about me. That Sunday when I was feeling low. My sister came home from work and told me to get up. You will take Vida with you and go for a walk. I get my cane and Vida follows me while I walk…

Black and White Focus Perspective

As we walk and I listen to Vida talk…the colour start to fade and turn into black and white. Now you think why black and white because I’m only focused on what’s in front of me. No noise just me and Vida so everything is quiet once again.

Now I leave you Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor and what happened to her during her stroke. My stroke wasn’t the same but this will give you an idea of the feeling going through a stroke. What happened to me was a scar tissue found on my left side of my brain. This effected the right side of my body. I’m lucky the stroke didn’t effect the way I think or putting words together. One thing the stroke did was made it easier to find my words and put them together easier. I can still create mobile images so I’m thankful for that.

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About ashcroft54

Photographer~Blogger~Artist
Gallery | This entry was posted in Combo Apps: Mobile Extreme Editing, iPhoneography, Photography and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Combo Apps/Jump Into My Imagination

  1. lalaithbr says:

    Praying for you, Tina. Yes. Depression is not a fun place to be. Seek help like I did. Hoping you get better from the side effects of you stroke soon. 🌷🌷🌷

  2. kimartino says:

    And they are beauteous!! You’re in my thoughts Tina xo.

  3. blortblort says:

    prayers are up for you and yours, Tina. I hope you do know how much influence you and your art and your information has had on my photography/editing/mobile arts pursuit…as a lifelong musician, this world is still new to me as I’ve only been at it for 3 years. YOUR voice and your work was SO instrumental to putting me on the path I am right now with my work.
    Did I mention: prayers are up for you, Tina? πŸ˜‰

    All the best- respect and gratitude always-

    Allen

  4. Dear Tina,

    My dear friend, while I did not have a stroke but by-pass surgery, depression is part of the recovery. We both have something going for us, we are creative souls and if we did not have this ability to distract ourself from the health issues, suffer far more.

    It is essential that you have a good support system in place and it looks like you do.

    I appreciate learning from you that you are analysing your process of what occurred and the recovery that you are facing. It is all part of the process hat you are currently going through.

    Tina, I wish you all the very best and if ever you need/wish to talk about the issues you are facing, call me. You have my number.

    Wishing you all the very best and a speedy recovery,
    Egmont

  5. stickyquote says:

    Praying for you Tina for a full recovery. You are a fighter!

  6. imapurrson says:

    Dear Tina,
    I’m so sorry that you have to go through all that you are going through right now. Life throws some real curves at folks sometimes, but you have the power within you to get through this rough time! I’m cheering you on and I truly feel within my heart that you’re going to get back to your full range of motion very soon. Keep looking forward, and do the very best that you are able to, each and every day. You’re so talented, and extremely helpful with all of the knowledge that you share. I will always be grateful for the best trick you taught me… “Pushing Stars.” I just love that effect so much, and you’re the one who divulged the awesome information on how to do such beautiful eye candy! It’s wonderful that your sister is there to help you get up and out the door when you don’t won’t to. Vida is full of wonder with the world and is a terrific reminder for you to keep seeing the beauty that surrounds you each and every day. I’m sending healing white light your way for a speedy recovery, and well wishes for you to have joy, laughter and good health in your every day. I think that these images reveal that you have a beautiful, very much alive and well mind, even though you say you’re feeling muddled and down right now. I love the edit and the colors! It doesn’t matter if it’s a picture on your camera roll. Perhaps I’m a little biased, as I love all of your pictures! Take really good care of you, Tina, you’re well loved!
    Cheers, Denise

  7. Simon says:

    My mum suffered a stroke last year. One thing you must keep up is your will power. I hope you mend as quickly as possible. Good luck.

  8. Erika Figueroa says:

    Wow! Amazing!!!

  9. Erika Figueroa says:

    Fight like a warrior! Don’t give up! Lufe is Hard …. But you can handl it!!!! Go for it girl!!! Never give Up! πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

  10. blaquira says:

    So sorry to hear Tina, Hope you feel better soon and move away from that bad dark neighborhood.

  11. S says:

    Inspiring person, inspiring photography.

  12. Dear Tina

    So sorry to hear about your medical problems but sounds like you have good support and hopefully with therapy you will get through this.
    Sincerely, Mary Lou Turbin

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